Dear loveble asshole

please stop bugging me,you are a pain in the ass.seriouslymeven ali says so.you talk a lot of crap during class and you never stop shouting,why don`t you shut the hell up and mind your own busineesss..muka penyek!fuck off laa you.not tht good at cooking or whatsoever you wanna tunjok pandai kan:3.

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
FUCKU
FUCKU
FUCKU
FUCKU
FUCKU
FUCKU



there,..i wrote you a fuck you.,.i hope a dozen of fuck you is enough.FUCK YOU a thousand of times la chow cibai madafaka..go to hell.BYE!

The day we achieve glory:)

Wow.yesterday was quite fun alright:D.haha.we went to sunway to berbuka puasa and all that.Ya..but before we went to sunway ryte.i was sleeping on ariz`s bed and i had a dream.i was dreaming that i was lying down and someone was hitting me.well,a tap at the back but it was quite hard.haha.and somehow i woke up cuz of that and when i did.haniff was there tapping me but not as hard but in my dream it was.haha.

but yaa,then haniff asked me whether i wanted to join them go to sunway.i was like hell yeah:D!thanks for inviting me:D!haha.yaa.so we went there and before bebuka.we went with haniff to jusco to go shop for his clothes:D.he needs to buy white something shirt for the practical class tomorrow.And me amira and ariz was goofing around in the fitting room and taking pictures.aha.it was really fun:3

and then we berbuka at kfc and all of us was playing with our food due to the long time before berbuka puasa.haha.and then amira told me to not play with my food.so i was like okay~..haha.and then after berbuka.me and hafis went for a smoke.i saw this girl smoking and i was disgusted.lol.okay.i`ll state it clear.not all girls who smoke disgust me but this girl,i don`t know why somehow when she smokes..she really disgusts me.haha.but who cares.then me n hafis went to jusco,and i called bibi.i was lucky to met bibi but when i just like talked to bibi for about like 5 minutes or so,ariz text me to go to the car now.and we were late and ariz was really angry when we got to the car..then me and hafis said we were sory.haha..we really were lost..the car was parked at cp2 and we went all the way to b2..isn`t it stupid?:P.haha.lol..
well that`s all folks:D

p/s:.selamat berpuasa:)!

27th of august

Owner of the blog:P

Amira,ariz,awang.haha

Looking for chicks:P

my chicken`s better:P

we call it colgate smile.haha

us at the fitting room

me and ariz

Haniff`s shirt:).haha

Confronted.NOT!

I finaly tell him what was wrong and why was i avoiding him.Well he himself should know since he was the one who did all those stuff.i don`t want the same things that happened to me back then happened again.Surely i never wanna lose my friends ever again.Last time was hard enough for me till i cried my ass off and had afiq talking to me about how wonderfulllife is:3.haha.
but yaa..

i seriously don`t want things to always end up the same way.i pass through this type of situation when i was 16.And during so,i lost a lots and tons of friends.all ended up disbelieving me and shit.i was like wtf and yaa..tears rolled down my cheeks at one point and at another point.idecided to move on since there`s no use mowning over somethings that has already happened and like wtf ryte?okay..this thing also happens in my family where they always accuse meof things i didn`t do.but its okay.family maa..forgive each other..okay..

honestly...when i move to kl..the first thing that i wanted was a fresh start.I hope nothing happened to me for example the situation where i lost tons of friends.but again.it did.And it was someone who i trust n love so much but sadly,its reality.we can`t do shit about it.its human nature and we can`t change it.seriously can`t change it.all that we can do it tend to live with it.And that`s what i`ve been doing but kan..it happened...that guy ah..go tell stories that i myself find hard to believe but my friend did but the truth did prevail and i got my friends back:)!.but this..i feellike shit..lol..someone who is really close to me doing something that horrible..comeon laa..i don`t palat people laa.only of i hate you:),but since you accused me out of no prove or evidence at all..congrats:)!your from my top 10 trust worthy person and now your in the :"i don`t trust you and your a i hate you possible friend list"..so ya..if you see me still avoiding you.its cuz i`m protecting myself.i get pushed around all my life but now i`ve learned.i won`t do the same ever again.i`ve learned throughout the years that my point of view matters the most..and not how people see things.And pretty much it has worked well:3...that is all...i got exam and i didn`t studied..gg lorh..:)!

The only thing i need is you

You know how to make me feel sad,you know how to make me go wee
given in time,given the chance,i`ll surely go mad cuz of you
the things you say and the things you do
but things aren`t real and that`s reality
i don`t know if its me or if its stupidity
loving someone means caring for them
i care about you a lot and i`ve been there for you
but have you been there for me?
i`m sometimes confused
whether i should go on
or stop.this is something that i just have to learn to let it go.

Reasons stated are clear

Today..i didn`t sleep at all..well..oneof the reasons was because there was this thing going on in my apartment..can`t tell.to dangerous.later if somehow someone reads it.i pulak kenak..damn.but yaa..but other than that.i accompany lee wen to make his grafitti.haha.he made two grafitti:D.xDD!
damn!haha..at the staircase somemore!his good:D.i respect him le for being able to do so:D.hee.but ya..moving back to the story just now.The thing was intense in a way.But i kinda pity the guy oso laa..but then again..i didn`t knew what happen.i just sat and watch.i wanted to stay in my room but abg long asked me to stay and listened thru the whole conversations.so i did.i was a little nervous.i didn`t want any fighting to happen in my apartment.like i don`t want la..not good ma fight inside the house.later rezeki don`t wanna come in.so ya..the guy`s friends waiting outside de..amazingly.i was holding a metal spatula and i was planning to use that incase somebody attacked us orsumthing but luckily nothing happened,things settleddown and we all lived happily ever after.NOT!:P..but things did settle down and my buddies ordered mcd.haha.funny right?:D.ngee..i didn`t have enough money to order mcd so i decided to go to sleep but i can`t.then i went outside for a cigg and the azan berkumandang,i somehow felt a strong urge to run as fast as i couldto the mosque.i change into my long pants.tookwudhuk and then believe it or not.i ran all the way to the mosque.got some walking moments laa but most of the way i ran..when ordy near to the mosque i started to walk cuz i needed to catch some air.haha.:D!but yaa..after praying..i felt so much better and i walked home.since i wad feeling hungry due to the mcd food they ordered.i stop by the mamak stall and ate roti telor and drank teh o limau suam.like anep said.its good for sore throat etc etc..and yes.is good.and it also taste good.i wonder why.i used to thought drinks like this won`t taste nice if it were to be hot but somehow.cuz of the fever.i learned to enjoy the drinkin its cold state^^!happy!and hey!:DD!there`s this one girl ah.she`s so prety.haha.she`s chineeese and she has a boyfriend.but i couldn`t care less la.its not like i have a crush on her or sumthing.i just like the way she looks.she`s prettyxDD!and she`s my friend.happy that she wants to be my friend:D!haha.and yaa...heee..well..tata!

p/s..working tonight from 5 to 12 amxD!for 35 bucks only..worth it ka?i think so!

Everybody deserves 2nd chances

Hello^^!today`s 7th of august i think:D.haha..i`m still kinda recovering from my fever..feeling much better than before:)!and yaa..today i woke up.i borrowed 5 bucks from soul..huhu..i hate borrowing.:(..but i have to if i wanna eat..me and lee wen went down to have lunch^^.yaa..and otw down..we saw 2 pretty girls:*...haha..*sorry for being too attracted to cute girls!were guys!*.haha.like lee wen said..its human nature.haha:D.so yaa..and then aa.me n him was like went out the lift and then we said which girl we want.both of us want the girl in the black dress cuz she was sexy and cute:D.that`s hotxDD!haha..he chased me around the swimming pool.haha:DD!cuz weplayed rock scissors to decide who gets the girl:)!ngeexDD.haha..ohya..just got a call from my mom..i hate it when my mom talks to me like i`m some sort of thrash..for god`s sake i`m her freaking son..but whocares..that`s why i`m always confused...whether i love and care for her or i just hate her...i seriously am confused sometimes..hmm..but enough bout her.yan knows how to roll ciggss now:DD!haha..yaa^^!nice ciggsxD for home made one..:DD!thanks YANY!

6 of august

Today was fun and tiring,went for group 1 pastry class..and amazingly,i get to do stuff and i amwilling to help.cuz they gave me a chance to do things!:D..in group 2 pastry work..i can`t do a shit..i told amira that n i told amirul:P!cuz amirul is from group 2:DD.hee..what i know is.some classes are better done in group 1 and some are in group 2:D
wish i can like mix.haha.but i can`t..sadly..ohya..there`s this girl,kasian gilaa i see her:/..the way she talks and writes..pity wey..i feel sorry for her.she`s not pretty,as matter a fact,she`s quite bitchy.not saying that she`s a bad person or anything.she`s a nice person,only that fact changes everything i guess..i`m like..reading her blog just now and i was like kasian weyy...i wish i can be there for her,i`m not trying to be a casanova ass o sumthing.its just like.wa lao..speechless ada jugak..aduhai..somehow.i know how you feel.i wish i can help u.but i can`t.hmm..feel bad a bit.

Haru Haru:(

Leave
Yeah, Finally I realize that I am nothing without you
I was so wrong, forgive me

My broken heart like a wave
My shaken heart like a wind My heart vanished like smoke
It can’t be removed like a tattoo
I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind

Yeah, I thought I wouldn’t be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on longer than I thought
You don’t answer anything as I cry out “I miss you”
I hope for a vain expectation but now it’s useless

What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry?
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can’t get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times

As time passes by
It would’ve hurt less if we didn’t meet at all
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby
I pray for you

Always be happy with him, I won’t ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won’t be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jealous

Missing everybody:(

i miss adam.buwbuw.baba.fafa.waniey.philly:((..:((..terribly..:((..like seriously shit terrible...i was like so down last night because of this people:(..i miss you guys weyy:(..i don`t know if you guy have the missing feeling o nt..but i seriously am missing you guys:(......i need you guys in my life:(..
i really do but i just don`t know why things aren`t the same as it used to.all of you have a different something going on with me.adam:(.my ex bestfriend i guess:(..so is waniey..:(((WAAA!

and my two daughers:(.i miss you two badly!:(i miss listening to your laughs..listening to you mourning "boh katik mekorg apai.aaa"...i miss that so bad..seriously missing it :(


and adam..i miss hisphonecalls....:(.our nonsense talk about nothing:(...seriously wey..i got issues when it comes to friends:(..i miss my friends:((!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:(((((((((((

and fafa..i just miss being beside her when it comes to the mall..i just like walking next to her.somehow..i feel comfortable:(..and i miss ngatik her oso:((..waaaa..i seriously feel like just lying on my bed.inside my blanky:(....aaaaaaaaaaaaa

waniey:(..i miss her morning syg!haha..text me when u wake up fadh,tc. mesages:((..waaa.now..waniey is like so cold when she talks tome.i don`t feel the cheerie her anymore:(.i made a wrong move when i said mek x kan kco tak gyk:(..damn..i`m stupid..i keep losing those people i love so much:((..when will i be able to learn that things just aren`t meant to be and sometimes..right things must be said at a correct time:(...but i didn`t:(...aaa..waniey..i wish you can read this:(..i miss you terribly and i think....i`m just madly missing you:(.its not that i love you as in i wanna marry you but i just miss being your bestie:(..i miss being one of your buddies that`s always with you:(.i seriously do:(

aaaaaaaaa.damn..missing evrybody i guess:(..

philly..my sister:(.waaa...me and her not that tight nemore;(...i don`t know why:((.i miss her cursing me on the phone:(..she doesn`t awnser my phonecalls anymore:(..i wish i can help her with her problems like i used to.but maybe she`s happy with another friend helping her..
:((((

i don`t know if i`m the one who`s being stupid for them:(..they don`t give a shit about me:(..excluding fafa and my daugthers though:(..
but the others?am i the one being stupid to bemissing them while they`re not missing me?:((
am i?am i?:((..............crying de :(((((((((((((

Wish i had someone

welli really do wish i had someone now cuz the single life is quite boring.I need someone who i can talk with,someone for me to pamper.someone who i can call mine.someone for me to wish goodnight i love you dear.but that thing ain`t coming any linger i guess..its gonna take a long while though

TERM 3

This second week of term 3 was exciting:).The whole term 3 was exciting because i thought i would be repeating my term 2.my first week was quite uneasy because i was afraid that i was going to repeat my term 2.Aqil said that i`d receive a call on friday i were to repeat but i didn`t.and because of that.We kinda celebrated and went to aqil`s cousin house.The house was extremely huge wey.fucking huge.i don`t know if its counted as a banglo or not.it look more like a mansion than a banglo.it even had its own freaking elevator inside the house.They got like 4 police guarding the house.just by going inside,you had to reguster first before going in and the police would be like checking your bags and stuff.it was a little freaky but in the end.it was all worth it.we went down to the basement and as what aqil had told me.The basement was fantastic,superb,marvelous and other words that defines awesomeness.i tottaly felt like mtv cribs when i got there.i got some pictures but i`m too lazy too upload it.i`ll upload it when i have the time.and i`m not bullshitting you.:DD..it was xtra huge!..and they serve this little chocs that cost like 20 bugs each ..other than chocs.they serve cigars instead of ciggerettes.:DD.they were about 20 rooms according to aqil and according to myself,they were 5 tv rooms?or 4?i can`t recall.but the place is seriously nice.i never thought i`d be in one of those houses you know?the rich people house.i`ve been to a dato,yb or whatsoever my uncle`s cousin`s house in kuching but not one was as big as don`s house..its just huge.ohya!there was a theathre room and we all slept in the theathre room:DD!.but when we woke up,we thought the tan sri was pissed or some thing.turns out that he wanted us to sleep in the rooms the maid has prepared for us.:DD!.but its okay,that night,we went to genting:)!the trip was nice.but i`m too lazy to talk about genting.The whole week.i`ve been doing my best to go to class and not miss not even 1!and i pray now.and when i pray,god seems to help me a lot with nearly everything.i`m amazed of what praying can do and the boundaries:DD!.boundaries and self talk helps me a lot in my new term:).i hope i`ll pass my term 3 again and i`ll continue doing my practical in miri:)

Fullhouse

never did understood the meaning of love

comes so sudden,hearts disobeys when i`m with you

if i knew this shall happen,we never should`ve started

regreting like a fool have i

too late is it to pray you`re not the one for me

praying your not me

i lied to myself that you are my true love

hope this love between us is for a short while

afraid of hurting you,having you

so close yet so far

its such a touching song.It makes me all lovy dovy .haha..i know it sounds gay but its just so nice!!!!!i love this songxD!

thank you enchanted.you make me feel so much better:)

who`s eyes will i look into

hmmmmmmm..who will it be..no one..no one no one.

hee.its so nice to watch enchanted..it took me into my own lala land..i really got my spirits back again.Love,its just so wonderfulxDD

but then again its still corupted by people who plays love for the sake of lust.Then again.there`s nothing we can do about it ryte?we all got our parts in lust.we can`t deny it.Awh..how i wish i had someone.but fat ugly people don`t.like myself.ugly.but its okay.seeing people being happy is enough i guess.ohya.her.she`s happy with someone else and it hurts to see it but still happy for her:DD.ouh dear god.how pathethic may i sound but when will you grant me someone who appreciates me because of who i am inside out.someone who knows how to treat me right.*sounds sissy but its a fact*..haha..among all the girl`s i`ve dated.most of em would leave me for another guy.slim cute guys:P.hee..eventhough knowing words and how to do stuff this and that.it don`t matter that much if you don`t have a look.when you don`t have a look.you ain`t got nothing.Nadaa.not a single thing.capish?yaa..but like i said,i`m changing for the better.I`ll continue my diet mission and be slim!if i`m slim,at least i won`t be that ugly.Than all those girls tht i once cared about so much won`t look down on me as much as they did when they dated me...i know i sound pathethic but this is the things that i deal with everyday.Looking down on myself.wishing i was a better person.This blog is the only buddy i have that listens to me and by not saying anything in a way makes me feel better about my self.the grass is greener on the other side:(..i wish i was on the other side.ouh god give me strength to carry foward what i`ve been destined to do!

currently listening to true loves kiss:DD.haha.yaa..i never had my kiss>.<..but its okay.Like an ex friend used to said.my lips are fr my husband and my lips i guess are for my wifexDD!that is if i ever find a girl that would wanna marry an ogour.:(..
>lol...yaa..but again..i really wished i was born as someone else>.<

I`m a piece of thrash and i wish i was born somewhere else.

I seriously feellike shit.even my good friend did it to me again.its oure bullhsit

kesan ku knk takorg eyh.nak abis2 ngn hal daktok.sak ati ku.suka na juak ngambik kwn empun koh.dak sikda betina laen.eee..aku tulis lam bahasa sarawak sak puas juak ati ku!eee..mun ada juak takorg tebaca tok.e.nang eee.sak sak sak ati ku.pi sikpa..ilek jak..pa mok marah2...kan hak aku nak?

i seriously feel like cutting myself but i can`t cuz there ain`t no fucking kniife for me to cut my hand.i feel like going away somewhere far.somewhere not even fareez knows.i really wanna do that.i really wann ride a car or a motorcycle far far away and well..just ride it as i listen to songs that suits my mood:(.and then i can feel better about it myself.my brother`s pissed at me

and yaa..that`s another issue.but as i`m writting this.his already okay with it.There`s not one person that i can trust acpect my brother.other people well ongket philly and fafa..i trust them so much.i trust them well with almost anything but then again.ijust feel so down cuz of my friend.your really a close friend of mine and eventhough i don`t show it to others about how i feel about her.you knew and yet you still did it.i don`t know why.....

Mad for you

Over my head for a girl

knocked down for a girl

nothing feels better

then getting your feelings twirled

You make me confused

you make me happy

is the way you talk that you seduce

ouh,i wish i was your boyfie

Telling you was the hardest thing

Like going really fast when your on a swing

the excitement and the thrill

baby girl you need to chill

no matter how much i loved you

you won`t understand

all this feelings inside

just waiting to be turned into sand

consiciously waiting

for you to return the love

my heart was like a painting

you are my heaven and above

you would never know

how i truly feel

all you know is to tell me to chill

like she used to say

love is like a battlefield

I love my bumble so much>.<

Okay.for starters like ya`ll who don`t have a clue who this girl is.she`s a girl into a young lady.She`s pretty and yes.pretty people are ussualy unavaible and as you can see.she`s hotter than fire,cooler than ice.She`s a unique person.Quite unique if you ask me.From her looks,her race and her personailty.She`s thinks she`s selfish but to me she`s not.You gotta admit that all of us are selfish in a way.She is a fun person to be talking to.Talk to her and you`ll know what i mean.Whether when your having a problem or just feeling sad.well it does depends.cuz she`s not much of a problem solver.*sorry adq*.She has this amazing giggle.Her boyfie`s lucky to have her.He could listen to her giggle whenever he wants.Gosh.i wish she was mine.*coughing*.haha.ohya,she`s a shy person at first,that`s a normal thing.and well,base on my experience with this angelic creature.she`s kinda she couldn`t care less if you`d talk shit bout her.she`s always in her fantasy world but when she`s all emo.Trust me,she`d be a screamo.and umm.She enjoys pampering.She denies it but i know she does.The way she talks during the times that i pamper her.I know she does.and..she`s a complex person to understand.i don`t really understand her sometimes.she likes cute guys who understand her.so if you think your cute.give it a shot.you won`t regret it.She likes nickies.Give her a nickname once your a close friend`s of her.she has like 7?9 nick?quite amazing huh?haha.yaa..well the most important thing you need to know is.She`s fragile.don`t hurt her.She`s everything to me.I tell her she`s not but actually she is.And well.she knows i love her:).i wish she was my syg.and i mean mine:P.haha..

truly pino..

this is how one of my smk lutong fren did her about me.her bestfriend wrote one for her and she copy paste it.but if my description of you isn`t at your likes.i don`t mind that you don`t copy it.no hard feelings deq.sorry if it sucks:/...

daaa!

i love you adq;)..more than anything

ohya ohya ohya!FUCK YOU!FUCK YOU A MILLION TIMES FUCK YOU!

i just wanna say fuck you.I hate you.i so fucking hate you right now.SO what?you think your tough now?i oughta smack you in the head you little wimp ass mother fucker.i fucking fucking hate you!seriously .you need to understand:D.i fucking hate you.fuck fuck fuck.

F U C K YOU

FUCK YOUR CAT

FUCK YOUR HAIR

FUCK YOUR FACE

AND FUCK TO EVERYTHING THERE IS ABOUT YOU

FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU:DD

yaa...so like..i hate you.i don`t know why...i just do!so ya..please..i freaking hate you

your a freaking loser and you know it.acting like you are one but your not.

just fuck u!

seriously fuck you!

Lol.shit does happens:D

I called mia today and i feel somuch betterxD.cuz like i don`t have to think about her anyore..she`s a complete waste of time.she said she`s changed.but seems to me there`s no change at all:DD.haha..but its okay mia.i understand a young lady such as yourself.who tells evrybody about a thing and yet you don`t do a shit about what you said.its just seriously full of crap syg:).

shit happens ya know

i`m Fadhlee,i`m 18 going on 19,i`m born in miri on the 13th of november 1990 in the clinic shell of Lutong.I`ve lived my whole life here in Miri and now i`m currently staying in Sunway city in next to or in Subang.I`m different.I`m not weird,i`mjust unique,I do things differently compared to other people.i have loads of friends but i keep losing them over little things due to misunderstanding.I`ve been doing so for quite a time now and i tend to try and stop.Being honest is apart of me that sometimes can bring good and bad to both sides or situation.I`m loud and humble due to certain situations.One of my friend says i look helpless and makes other people want tolend a hand.I know it sounds pathethic but i guess its true but as how most of the people in the world would say,don`t judge a book by its cover.i`m capable of doing loads of things.Things that people don`t ussualy do or they might not even do.I have the courage and confidence but sometimes my physical appearance turns em down.a lot.but thank god since i move to Sunway.i`ve lost a lot of amount of weight due to no rice diet and well i just decided not to eat.but i`m still a fat ass and i admit it.I`m shy to some stuff and i`m sensitive.I sometimes take jokes seriously and its just a thing that i can`t avoid.I have troubles with my lovelife.I get confused a lot.and i tend to make wrong decisions all the time.Loving someone who doesn even gives a shit about you is stupid so please to anybody who`s read this,forget bout those who don`t give a shit about you while to you there like your sun,there like your moon and they`re like the stars that fills up your dark skies in the night.No matter how hard you try,it just won`t work.you`ll just end up getting yourself hurt more.It happened tome loads of time.i can`t regret for ever being in love with them cuz being over my head over them feels great and well,like they say,greater love greater pain.adn i got hurt in the process.They on the hand couldn`t care less if i still love them or not.so yaa just try and get over someone who doesn really care bout you and get your "love spirit" high again and start all over again.it`ll be worth it:DD.trust mexDD!
i have loads of adq angkat.but it seems most of them seemed to forgot me.but its okay.Its just abg angkat.but then again.those who were still with me.i`m happy that they are.i love all of you so much and you know it.and to those who seemed to only came to me when your drowning in problems you can just go home and kiss your mom cuz coming to me only during your harsh time is mean.i`m not a place for you to cry on.i`m your brother for god`s sake.look it up.So yaa..i`ve been bored and i`ve been stressed lately so i wrote this long thing..i don`t know who ekse to go to.just this thing for me to write on.so yaa:DD..


today..mia contacted me and explained everything to me.and i meant everything.in a way.i don`t believe her but i a part in myself wanted to believe her and i don`t know why.Were still together as she said it but still.by the time your reading this.she might be still mine or we both might broke up.she was pissed but by what rights?i also have the rights for being angry cuz she didn`t even contacted me and explained to me at all.i know she`s busy but she could at least tell me.i`m still her "boyfriend" right?yaa..she told me mr mambo tango was only a mere imagination and fake.i used to thought it was the kairool guy in friendster and facebook since she`s been contacting that guy and one more thing.she could at least told her kuching buddies about me but no.she only told her girls in cboo.why?maybe she wants to hide me from her kuching buddies but i don`t know.this are just thoughts that run in my mind.I thought i`ve lost her for so long now.and now she`s sudenly back in my arms again but it just doesn feel right.plus.this evening.i had a pissed aura from zul and i kinda told philly that i`d stay away from her to avoid pain encountered to myself for loving her.just now.just after i called mia.i called phillly cuz she`s the only one i could actually talk to.i know its stupid but i had no choice.plus.i had no ciggerettes at all.so i called her and talked to her.she calmed me down in a way and philly,i think i understand you.but not completely i think.Your still a big blurr in my head.just like mia.yaa..i have unbalanced feelings for you and mia.And mia.i`m telling this cuz i wanna be clear.its been so long since i called you.i still love you.but philly was the only one there for me when i needed someone and i had loads of fun with her.she`s pretty and she`s cute just like you.but she doesn love me like the way you said you did.i`m really confused mia.for the love of god.if you really did loved me.you`d understand me.but if you still did.i`d pretend you`d did okay?:P.
and philly.i`d continue to avoid you.i don`t wanna fall for you ever again but i did .and this time.i`d make sure i`d be my last time.you knew it right?why pretend.you saw my coment at zul`s page.i know thing`s philly.things tend to open up to me eventhough people keep hiding em.i know there`s a saying where it says somethings are better left not knowing the truth cuz we`ll just get hurt if we knew the truth.but getting the pain at that specific time that you knew is a good thing.so we wouldn`t get hurt later on.so yaa philly.i love you adq:).as a brother.i think i`d never be tired of saying so.

and mia.please baby.i love you,you always a special spot in my heart no matter during my so inlove times with philly.i love you i love you!
and yes.fieyra was my adq angkat but only as my adq angkat.i know you,and i`m rea;;y afraid of you`d hurting me in the end cuz of what i did.you must think about what you`ve done to make me think of what i did thing.our relationship dead.i`m so evermuch sorry mia.i love you so much baby.please forgive me.

26th:D

today was a very nice day:DD.eveything was exciting eventhough things didn`t go to plan.The original plan was too get together with both my little sisters.but then turns out the other one went for fcking bowling and the other one came a little late.well not really little.much much late but still:DD..hehe.yaa.okay..I`ve never saw philly before all my life.never.before.i used to thought she was around my height.turns out that she was shorter than fareez.tomy suprise.and she thought i was taller.well..lol.okay.then again.i came ther with fareez and adiey but we went on our separate ways.cuz i wanted to go out with my sista`s and he wanted to go out with his classmates.well ya.when i reached there.i was waiting for philly and i was just chilling at the main door and to my suprise i found chal:DD.she said i`ve changed:DD.i`ve gotten slimmer and i have a nice hair^^.hahaha.yay baby yay:D!haha.but chill fadh..chill.not yet..haha.yaa.then i waited and waited and just as i was about to enter the parkson since philly still haven`t arrived.she suddenlycamed and she was in a rush.she said hye and then said sumthings.i couldn`t really remember.i forgot cuz i was too busy looking at her smilling>.<....lol...yaa.haha.so..after tht..she suddenly went mising and when i text her.she didn`t reply.in my mind.i was like.wtf?shit...lol.but then again when i thought about her smile.i was like in my lala land.lol.and yaa..she did reply in the end.but then she told me she couldn`t come.in my head.i was really hoping that me her and fafa could jalan2 and then to our suprise bump into his boyfriend.I`d really wanna see his face.he must be like "this is why i`m hot" since his philly`s bf.but then again.things didn`t really went according to plan.haha.so yaa.i just buy the transformer tickets and watch it alone but before we went in.i brought fareez into the bowling area so he could see philly:).hehe.yaa.and he was like ouh.that`s her.okay.let`s watch transformer.so we went in but separate seats.yaa.during transformer.i sat near to some people that doesn know how to shut up in a movies and keeps talking.i know you got your rights but dude.its transformer.shut your pie hole and watch the fucking movie and stop wiggling your fucking legs.its fucking annoying.ohya!before i continued.i bumped into muamar and even he said i got slimer .>.<..i still think i look fat fat fat..my friends in kl said i`ve no change..lol.accpect ariz.haha.yaa.thanks for that dudexDD.ohya..once i was done watching the movie.philly already went back.i went to marrybrown to grab sumthing to eat.cuz like its been like 6-8 years since i touch there chickenxDD.haha.yaa.so and then i meet up with fafa and then i accompanied her for her mcd:D.and then..yaa.we went on n on in parkson:D.i had loads of fun with her cousins and all:D.they`re all like my little cousinsxDD.yaa.ehe..yaa.and then we went to her aunt`s house tosend mei2 home.yaa.things turned out well.and the thing is.i think i`m in love again and i`m gonna get knocked down again...damn fucked up.i hate that.but in a way.it feels good to be over my head for a girl.

its back

i think it has but i`m not sure..

lost my earing..

fucked up!i lost my damn earing..damn...

25th of june

thailand horror movies are just way fuckedup wey.likeseriously damn fucked up!!!!

its like so scary that you can feel something running in your body and other than that.the disgusting part,i can still handle.but the part where they do the summoning and where they cut off the fucking vagina and then took something from inside made me wanna volmit and like i got a sick gut feeling because of watching what i watched,its like damn freaking disgusting and fucking scary.fucked up scary.even white people have sense of humanity in making horror movies but thailand horror movies are just too much.like seriously too much.i`m fucking scared and fuckin disgusted and i never thought i`d curse as much as i did because of one stupid horror movie that was made by thailandneese people.its like damn damn shitty shitty bang bang.lol..i`mstill watching thefucking movie as i`m writting this.damn.i can`t sleep and i don`t know why.and fuck fuck fuck the fucking bitch just fucking took off the guys fucking toenail`s.fuck that fucking hurt!!!aaaa mcb..damnn....ouh fuck wey this movie..i don`t even know what its called.i just kept on watching it.eventhough something inside me is telling me to stop watching the effin movie but i still keep on watching it and i don`t know why i`mdoing so.i seriously don`t know why i keepon watching it.maybe cuz i can`t sleepand maybe cuz i`m nervous or exited in meeting my adq..don`t know..iserioysly don`t want too cuz i don`t wanna fall for her again but she says i won`t.i don`t know if i will.lol..i think i will.like 80% posbilities of that i will and when i do.i`ll get hurt all over again.hmm..i really don`t want too.ohya..dad..really waiting for him to bank in money for me.:DD.i wanna go out dady_YO.haha..so gimma all the monay,ALL the monay!:DD..xDD

She has a Spare :)

chewah...mok ada spare eyndah..sik cyk aku tok setia siboh..aku tok gemok.muka dak katak.sikda ku gago2 nak curang baa..yah..kdk la aku tok gago glak nak crk grk laen.hmmph..please laa..eventhough you know how to read guys,doesn mean you know me.trust me.i know you more than you know me;).you weren`t as good as you said you were you know?:).my brother has more advantages than you do.he does and you know it.were in two different worlds deng.think properly berfore you do things..u got spare.hwo do you think that makes me feel huh?angry.pissed.dissapointed....my god...you guys really don`t get the idea huh?hmm..credit low because i couldn`t care less about texting people.irarely text my friends and my adq`s.doesn mean i rarely text you .you go around finding spare.lol.fine..just do whatever you want laa okay?after writting this..i`m so asking for a break up okay?i`ve done nothing wrong to you and this is what you pay in return.

"go on girl,i`ll be fine".

Everythings seems okay

yaa..i woke up at 2.30 today and i straightly went to my laptob but to my suprise.elysha was there playing my laptob.*tuija* anak ya:p.hehe..but then she cried and ran to my mom cuz i told her if she wanted to play my laptob she`d better stop screaming.she was just creaming also cuz my brother fareez gago juak mok maen laptob.lol:P..haha..ya..so i just went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and checked out what mom has prepared for lunch.imisssed lunch cuz i was sleeping..haha..yaa..after eating.then went online but only for a short while.so and then i smoked my skl and then i took a bath and here i am writing this blog.ohya.my adq bubbled me the halo song.hehe.like hafis said.girls always does things that misinteprete us.hehe.but its okay.i think i`m over it so let`s keep it that way:)

Hello beautiful

This song means a lot to someone.and that day that i called that someone was the day that mia send me a coment saying she misses me badly and she doesn know how much pain i felt of what she did to me and she still has the nerves to even say she misses me.*sigh*.i don`t know why in the hell would she do that.eventhough i`ve litterally forgotten about her.but i still think about her time to time.now that when she`s sent me that coment saying she misses me badly makes me think about her 24-7 again..i keep looking at her photos and keep asking myself.what should i do about it.i honestly say that i`m a little dumb in relationships.i really am.cuz i fall for people that doesn have any feeling for me and even when they accpect me.they don`t have any feelings for me.i seriously don`t know why i do that.but yaa.who cares ryte??:P..so back the hello beautiful thing,after i read the coment.i was kinda sad and i drove around my parent`s car in my neighbourhood to release the anger:p....and i went to ct`s house and picked her up.i jokedaround with her a lot.and i mean a lot..i t did made me happy abit.but i was kinda missing my adq so i decided to call her since she`s always having problem.i just want her to be happy all the time.eventhough i don`t have anymore feelings for her like i did last time.i still love her as an adq so yaa..i was correct and she was feeling down.i tried to cheer her up.at the beginning.it didn`t work.but at the end it did.and she asked if abg can sing for her jiwang2 songs.so i did.but then at the end.she requested for hello beautiful.i wanted to sing to her but that song has meanings and its special.a lot of song can relate to anybody at various stages of life.its just them or us who chooses to keep it to ourselves or expressing it thru online pages like ms and fs.but sometimes.keeping things to urself isn`t that bad.trust me.i`ve tried it.so yaa..i said i`ll call her tomorrow and sing it to her tomorrow.and then we said goodbye and goodnyte and she said i love you abg:DD.i was very happy that tyme cuz its been so long since i heard that.so yaa.i think i`m gonna try and call her tonight and sing the song to her tonight.i listened to the song all day today.and i`m gonna give it all and try to sing it to her.and by any means.i`m singing it to her as in how i used to love her feeling:P.hehe..yaa..doesn mean i don`t love her as much as i use to last time.i can`t sing to her ryte?but..the song`s meaning when sang to another person later on won`t be the same agian because the song was sang to her.she`s my philly to my pino.i`ll always love her.and i`ll always be beside her no matter what.i still have a little hope in my heart but this is me were talking about.i`m gonna push it aside and try to be the best brother a man can be.haha.well yaa.that`s is..tata




my loveble adq:)..i love you so much adq.

An old friend said i was annoying

A friend of mine said i was annoying and it really did hit me on the spot.i was so knocked out that i litterally nearly cried:P..but i didn`t.i have to be strong.I have to be one with myself and hold on to my words.I can stand by my own and i will prove it to everybody.but still,i still need friends:P..haha..but now i learned that i cn`t trust friends a 100% cuz they`ll do anything at the right time behind your back just oto cover up their own.i`ll do my best i hope.well yaa..

Being back in miri

I came back to my home sweet home on friday.my flight was on 8.30 am..so yaa..had to woke up early to go to the airport.Originnaly..aqil was suppose to send me home.but my aunt suddenly called and asked if she can send me to the airport.since i have little amount of money left.i had to accpect if not,i`d be down straight broke when i reach miri.but even when i did.i was already broke.so i couldn`d care less..so yeah..my aunt asked his husband Anjang Mat to pick me up.he reached suriamas approximately around 9.30.during that time i was to busy onlining.checking out people`s myspace and friendster.then he called,"fadh,turun bawah,uncle dh kt dpan tmptyg uncle selalu ambil fadh.okay uncle"...like always..i was in a rush too take all my things and then i manged to get there fast.but...but....when i reached my aunt`s house..i found out that i forgot to bring my ticket...i was like omg..my ticket..how am i gonna go back to miri without my ticket ryte?then i calmed down and with my muka tebal..i asked my uncle..uncle..bleh tak tlg print ticket sy..sbb sy lupe ticket tdi...he was like.okay.i know he was really2 tired so i did felt kinda guilty but i had to.if i didn`t i wouldn`t be going back to my sweet home..so yeah..we managed to print but we had problems trying to print the damn ticket cuz of the printer and the internet was damn slow..so ya.we printed it.i lye down at the bed that was already set for me by my aunty.and when i did.i thought i was gonna sleep.but then.i couldn`t.i was like damn..so i thought to myself..let`s not sleep..incase i can`t wake up for tomorrow.5 oclock is early and i slept like 3.30....lol...but i feel asleep at 3.30..haha...watching koreans movie..i think i have a addiction to watch korean movies or tv shows..they`re interesting and the best thing about it is the chicks in it.its like when u firstly watch em right.the chikcs or "heroin" aren`t that hot.but after half hour of watching the damn thing..you`d find that chick is so so hot..yaa..its like that..but back to the story..my aunt woke meup but i feel asleepagain and then for the second time.i woke up nd straightly took the towel that i used as a blanket:P....haha..yaa..i took it and took my bath..it was effin cold..but i couldn`t do anything..since i was only a guess:p..i took my bath fast and rushed downstairs.when i reached downstairs,my aunt has prepared for me bread and a hot cup of milo.i was suprised and i was touch that she made breakfast:D.hehe.i ate up all my breakfast and went to the car with my uncle and he sent me to the airport.the first thing that came to my mind when i reach there was.CIGGS!haha..i waited for my uncle to went away and i smoked.i finished my ciggs.i took my baggage inside and started lining up for my theboarding pass.when i did.i was kinda lost to find the local departure.to my suprise.it was only at the left side.i was like..how can i nt see tht.when i did.i went thru the metal detector thing and went straight to my A6 room.there i opened my lappy and started onlining for awhile.i chatted with some friends from myspace for awhile and the i was kinda suprised that my philly removed me from her featured friends.haha.a little down but i thought to myself.if your gonna forget her.go all the way.like what hafis said."hati kene kering"...yaa..so i just *sigh* and did a litle blah gah thing by myself.in the a6 room i felt a little like home cuz people were talking in sarawak language.and i was smilling by myself.they were a couple of chineese looking at me.but i didn`t care cuz i`m about to reach home!why would i care?!:p.so when the time camed.i just switched off my lappy and went straight into my aeroplane and slept.but when they started serving lunch.i woke straight away.the aroma was just unbelieveble:P..haha.so yaa..after eating..i continued my sleep and when i woke up.i was already in miri:)...my home sweet home.the first thing that came to my mind that day was my baby sister ellysha.i miss her so much and yaa she misses me too suprisingly:DD.haha..well now that i`m in miri.i`ve been spending a lot of time with her and she kisses me now:).last time she doesn.haha..yaa..well..that`s all about my miri comeback:D!!i love miri and proud to be a mirian:DD

went out around 2.30

things were quite tense last night.damn..i`ll update this story later..seriously catching up with time.

Feeling good:)

thinking back.a few days later i was feeling bad and down..now..:).i feel happy being on my own.i don`t need anybody and by doing so had made me very happy:)!thank you god:DD!i thank you so much for giving me this feeling and you`ve ease the pains that i encountered and i got my waniey back:)!

welcome to my life GUYS:)

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

MY O H A N A

MY OHANA:DD!!!I LOVE THEM:DD

O H A N A:DD

some of my family members went to kl today and i went out with them:DD.they kinda cheered me up in way.hee...i felt happy again seeing them.the thrill and happyness they gave me by smilling:D.i feel appreciated.i don`t feel that anymore with my friends:(..but ya..seeing my them today.and ryan syahmi:DD..he was cute!he has that noh hair.hehe.he was talkative.he talked non stop and finished my sony ericson phone battery:PP.haha..but i didn`t mind.i didn`t even text my gf today and tonight as i`m writting this.she asked for a breakup cuz i don`t have time for her:P.i do have time.i just don`t bother to.haha.but its okay.eventhough i feel a little down.since i was beginning to grow feelings for her.:PP...but its okay.like william said.get a gurlfren here fadh.the one you can actually see.or touch.and bro..i feel you.haha..

and mia....hee..i think i`m getting over her little by litle.i just kept thinking of philly to get her of my mind..i called philly today,well just now but she was at the funfair with her friends:DD.hee..so yaa.i hope she had fun.she`s under a lot of stress lately.so its kinda good for her to go out at night with bright colourfull lights.Funfair was just right for her:)!i love you philly:).you know i do:DD

i`m currently listening to better in time.ughh.i sound so gay in a way.haha.but its okay.i`ve decided to live my life and spendmy money well.i don`t need anybody but myself.that`s what i learned staying at a place like this.i might need friends.but i won`t give a 100% trust anymore.and what people seem to say that looked like from the bottom of the heart isn`t from the bottom of the heart.they just wans us to see them as they`re nice or whatever.my God...humans..:P...but i`mone of em too.my childishness has lessened a lot thanks to them.i justjoke around those i somehow feel comfortable with.Amirul,neil,po.i somehow still feel comfortable with theese people.but if they were with those guys who were so called friends that was talking behind my back.wellthen.i`ll stick to all i need is my self:)!ciggs?i can buy:D.enjoyment?:Di can enjoy a day at the mall bymyself thank you:D.i just need my phone,music,cash:)...and guys.you guys can laugh about my adictionswith phones.i don`t mind.you`ll understand IF you were in my shoes.but you`re not.so ya.

ohya!i wanna try and get my car license so my dad would by me my own car.and by having my own car here,i can seriously stick to the all i need is myself point:)!

go fadh!you can do it:D!!ohya..studying.istill need them.haha.they`re nice people.they just talk behind my back..i don`t like that:).hee..well..tata for now:DD

went out with the guys

today.me and my buddies went out cu i got free tickets to watch the monter vs aliens.haha..yaa..free:DD..but the thing is..some interesting topic came up like the FRIENDS topic..i just stayed quiet.friends don`t talk behind their friendsback..the only guy i trust around here i yan and william..somehow.i cn trust haniff..but i don`t know laa.i don`t really know who actually talkbehind my back but my sense tells me that some ofthe guys i takeasfamily did and yaa..the guy i callmy brother did that..:/

friends?

nahh....let`s not talk about the word friends...hard to trust friends this days.peopleyou consider family like also would talk behind your back..unbelievable:(

Pissed and moody

i went out with the guys today but i somehow still feel outcasted.i don`t know why.maybe its just me or the other thing about what my so called "brother" told my friend about me.hmm.i seriously feel outcasted somehow.ariz,yan,william and hafiz is the guys that cheers me up somehow or in a way.today..after class..haniff asked me about what`s wrong with me.i don`t think i can tell him since his outcasting me because of what my "brother" said about me.My "brother" himself is outcasting me.how can i feel safe or feel like i have a family in taylor`s.having hafiz and yan makes me feel welcomed and somehow i can feel that dude your a buddy!or dude your a bro!and so yaa..today..when we were going to yowfattt sumthing.we were kinda listening to the radio and the welcome to my life song was played on the hitz.fm.i just sat and stared outside the window.how my "brother" has been treating me so cold.i seriously don`t know why his doing this to me.according to the stories that he told ariz.he said that i always asked for topups.that statement have 2 meanings.its either his pissed because i asked him to help me buy topups like 3 times.but i paid him back or his telling them i`ve been asking for topups and i didn`t pay him.my god.i paid all three times.and if his pissed about chia`ing me all the time.i can pay him back.most of the time he chia me it was him.he insisted on me saying no nid to pay laa fadh.5 ringit is small amount only.chill laa.there`s two things in life i don`t really care sharing.
1.ciggs
2.food and beverages

this stuff in life.i dn`t mind chia`ing my friend.

but by the way he treating me now.and i mean like if this is the case.i can pay him back.i`m not poor.i might have problems with money but the thing is.my parents seriously don`t wanna bank in the 800 ringit into the bank straight.they like to bank in like 150 or 200 perweek.depending on my buddget and the money i have in my wallet.but yaa.i just wish my parents just give me that amount of money since the beginning so i can like plan my money.but giving me little by little somehow destroys my social life.in a way.last time.i can buy dunhill.why?because my parents bank in 450 straight.and now.my parents just like to bank in bit by bit.its kinda annoying but i don`t bother teling them because i know they`ll say.

"cannot,later you overspend"...last time only give me like 500 permonth wey and i can survive.you guys give me this much amount of money i cn survive.by the way you guys give me money now.i`m overspending and i don`t know why.ciggs?no..food?yes..but i eat less.lol..=.=....i don`t how my money somehow keep dissepearing from my wallet.

ohya..today.haniff was like daring me to not curse for a whole day since 2.30 something?and yaa..i managed to hold my self from cursing.and i do feel kinda good in a way.but i`m still moody and i don`t know why.:(....maybe i need to pray.i need to get the cheery assertive fadhlee back to get my studies straight so i can score and i don`t end up repeating my term 2.term 2 was hard enough.i don`t wanna repeat like bull and my abg long akil..lol...calling him abg long in this blog sounds kinda weird because i call him akil but i call his gf kak long since his gf is my neighbour and well i`ve known kak long since i was like a little kid.so yaa..in a way i don`t really feel alone but having her has no difference really.i`m looking for a buddy that i can really talk to and let my feelings out.the only person who i can do that with is my little sister yasmeen.eventhough somehow she`s annoying and she doesn really gives me solution but talking on the phone with her makes me feel okay a bit.and all those cursing with her seems fun:DD.

my girlfriend deana today was like texting me.i was kinda lazy to text her so i told her i got class till 6.and when i got home i told her text her later.then she called me when i was on the way to yowfatt something.she was really missing me:/..i`m mean:((.so i text her laa..she is kinda sweet:)..by,syg`s sorry if you`ve read this but i`m too lazy after class to text.i`ve told you that.i just didn`t tell you what really happened because i don`t want you too feel awkward by me.syg`s really sorry ya?i`ll try my best to text you and all those stuff.you`re really nice and i wanna be the only one for you since you love me and you said that eventhough i`m chubby and ugly:((..=.=...thanks so much by:).you were the 2nd girl all my life to ever love me bcause of who i am and how i treat people.thanks so ever much prince deana:DD.i love you bie:DD

This girl took my heart and it seems that she takes it litterally

i really did love this girl.i tried moving on with her and gave my whole heart to her.and yes.she had someone else and i can`t do anything:(.she has her mambo.i have only myself to blame.i really thought i can love her.but no.i can`t.she tells eveyrbody that she changed.but i don`t see any.maybe the smoking and all that.but smoking i don` mind.but playing with people`s heart.it doesn change.its still the same.she`s stillplaying em around.if she thought i wasn`t serious.she must be blind or sumthing:(.but i really2 do love her:(....haih..

I feel like shedding tears

crying won`t help me or won`t solve my problem:(.i never thought things would end up like this,the only thing good today is i know that i know the basics to accounting and i managed to sort of finish my effin geography test.and then somehow.god showed me a reason why he treats me that way.i`m a forgetful person but seriously if there`s like a debt i owe someone.i won`t forget.how can he tell such stories?:((.he was like a brother to me.i feel so dissapointed.people will tend to lose trust in me because of that.now i know why my parents keep telling me don`t trust your friends 100%.now i know why:((.people won`t learn until they pass thru that phase of life where a friend tell stories that aren`t true about yourself and only after awhile you`ll finnaly know the reason why your friends have been treating you differently.now that i`ve learned.i won`t make the same mistake anymore.but seriously.if they think of me as poor of something.i`ll show em how sarawakian spend:).


tc bro.ily

Dan sebenarnya

oh bulan
enggan melayan diriku lagi
pabila
airmata membasahi pipi
dah lagu lagu di radio
seolah olah memerli aku
pabila
kau bersama yang lain

adakah perasaan benci ini
sebenarnya cinta
yang masih
bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
disebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga
merindui aku

ku enggan
berpura pura ku bahagia
ku enggan
melihat kau bersama si dia
oh ku akui cemburu
mula menular dalam diri
pabila
kau bersama yang lain

pabila kau merenung matanya
ku rebah
jatuh ke bumi
disaat kau benar benar mahu pergi
seperti
ku bernafas dalam air



hope your happy syg:]

my buddies birthday

today ryte....morning....i woke up cuz a budy of mineasking for a towel....soi woke up and told him that the towelwas at the vranda...then somemore..he askwhich one cuz there`s 3 of em..i told em the blue one...the hafiz towel..since hafiz is like my semi housemate..he comes tomy house every weekends...weirdhuh?but very nice to have himaround..healways laugh by himself that causes me to laugh....haha..his childish and blurry in a way..his a malay and somemore talk chineese to yan and william...i always feel left out...-_-


LOL


but its okay..back to the topic...



...
...


it was williams birthday today...haha..he came to my aprtment around 6.20 and ask me and yan if we wantedto join him goto his little party.then we went to carl`s junior:DD..william was like basically.chia us both 10..then we 3 went to 5th floorto get ariz they all.but they went to get yan`s laundry...but ariz they all wasn`t there..just my buddy hafis..sleeping.haha..we woke him up and took him along..then we went there and ate..damn big wey the burger....i`m still full:DD..haha..thanks so much william^^!even though u r one of the most sarcastic bastards i`ve ever met.you`re still considerate,nice in a way,and always explaining stuff to me.thanks birthday boy!after eating.we went to play snooker.but me and hafiz gotkicked out cuz we used slipers..its sostupid you know cuz of that..damn..so about one hour..we were like basically siting in the bowling`s smoking room.haha,..smoke our ass off..then..ariz called hafiz to bring us forshisha:DD..hehe..but b4 that..we went to play arcade.and yaa baybeyh!iscored for intial d..it was nice.and lol...iwasted about 20 ringgit...=_=....lol..i`msupposetosave money somemore..but no....lol...ohya..then we went for shisha that was about 5 minuteswalk or less tothe shisha hang out spot..we walked and wished hanif happy birthday at approximately 12.04:DD..hehe..he had like 3 gurls calling wishing happy birthday:DD..he`s like the ladiesman of DC 32:DD...go haniff.:DD..haha..and now i`m home writing this blog..but i`mquite sad a bit laa..well..umm..dunno what or how to say:((..but its okay laa..she was too good to be true anyways..so yaa..byebye babe...hye babe..lol...doesn make any sense anyway..but who cares...dealing with emotional seasons..bak ckp haniff...emo tyme..:((


wanna cut myself:((

the birthday of two buddies of mine.:DD

Camp was hell>.<

the camp thingy that daniel brought us was like..fucked up..it seriously hurt like helll....my god..plus somemore..i was using a slipper to hike the fucking hill..it was damn slippery...espcially during the waterfall part..i slipped down like 3 times u know?fuck up laa wey..lol..and i`mhaving issues what philly does..but i`m the other way around and they`re freaking confusing me..loll..headche!:/..


ohya..its like 5 of em.damn.....
really fuckedup..haha..but well..thats life..there`s nothing we cn do about it:>...hehe

Love is polluting my air

i`ll be here forever
even if you leave
and if you look for something better
soon you`ll say you`re addicted to me

if i ain`t got you
i ain`t got anything
can even feel the pain

when i love you
its so untrue
i can`t even convince myself
and i`m speaking as a voice of someone new

and if you don`t mind
can u tell me all ur hopes fear and all that u believe in
and can u make a difference in the world
i`d love for u to take me for a deeper conversations

just a portions of song that somehow relates in a way

Hafiz and Yan

this two guys are what i call lala brothers.haha.they`re nice and well yaa..they`re the guys i open up too..themost...haha..yan`s 1 year old younger.but sometimes i act childishly so he is maturein a way.but still i choose to be childish.i cn act maturely if i want too.but idon`t.cu being childish ismuch more fun and its not stressfulxD!!

hafiz is the guy who cheers me up unintentionaly.i love to see himlaugh.haha..whenever he laughs and i`mdown cuz of something..i`ll automatically laugh.haha.or perhapssmile..haha..


wellyaa..if the two of you are reading this.thanks formaking my life in kla HELL lot of fun:DD

i love thunnders,strorms and rains..

I feel very calmed during this type of events during whenever..i really love to either listentomusic loud using a speaker or headphones..i just love to..it makes me think so much that everything becomes clear..

the sound of thunderlike bOOM BooM!and the lightning.they make weee.i like the colour that it gives out..no matter what music i`m listenning to right.i`d just enjoy the scenery..plus...i really love th wind blowing my hair..i somehow feel free.feel like there`s not a problem that can stop me..and somehow.i feel like an old skool assinator about to murder someone in the most silent and fast way possible..talking about assinanting.i took a test in fb.aahaha..i`m a great assinator..if i had a gun and i knew everything about doing so.i`d so assinate some few peoples in my life..ahaha..i`d so do that during storms:DD...

well.i just love rainy days and storms..i wish they`d come during evening or night....i just love the thunder roaring and the rain...it reminds me of someone too since she was the first person that i told about how much i love the storm.....but the most important thing is..i enjoy the stormy moments.....

i seriously need to study for my maths and accounting

Its only like 2 weeks plus left till the final exam..like seriously hard laa wey the exam..damn..i`m bad at maths..for sure i`ll be bad at accountingtoo....trying my best to cope with all my studies.and when i say best..for sure someof your readers say..lol..fadh..ofcourse lorh.....

i`m trying my best within my reach..i can`t do shit about it guys...i`m just stupid..iadmit it..well stupid in this type of matter..fadhlee+numbers=failure.....

perghh
ohya..i`m quite actiove in myspace now since fs is quite boring..and i`min kl..gotta interact with the human nature here...my buddies told me to get a gurlfren here.so it`ll make my life easier..the thing is..girls here are way to hot for an uglyshit face like mine..and plus..i love my gf..so yaa..

ohya.umm..fyra...yaa dyg..you are hot.i gotta admit.hehe..but i don`t regret breaking up with you since we don`t have any feelings for each other..so what`s the point of dating..:PP..true o not?

plus...u`ve dumped me foran emo before remember??:P..
hehe
so were even now!haha

ohya..my adq was fucking annoying on the phone last night.i was likeasking who`s she`s texting..and she`s like..why do u care.."u know why i care la chow cibai.."....and she`s doing that evil laugh..lol...Philly you evil sister.:PP..
haha...
sunday is suppose to be nice but my sunday today is a disaster...i`mgonna have camp tomorrow which explains why i`m not sleeping..i gotta be up by 5 and i cn`t sleep now cuz i have a hard time waking up:/.....lol...
so yaa...gonna write as much as i can in my blog today.:DD

WTF guys?

you guys seriously are just fucked up,since back in high school you guys got this thing against me huh?chow cibai gan yi ma puki.i`ve never talk shit about you guys and you guys on the other hand still do.fuck off from my life okay?
1.i`ll never admit what you guys have accused me off because i simply didn`t do it
2.leave me alone
3.yes,you guys have much more better lives and yes my life in highschool was a living hell thanks to you guys
4.for a moment,i believed josh about what he said bout you guys,now i know he just doesn want me to think badly about myself


ya please,just don`t come into my life anymore,i won`t bother you guys and you won`t bother me okay?seriously.don`t ever come into my life ever again

here without you baybeyh

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me, yeah

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me

Everything I know and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me

Mafyd

would it be
how can it be
seriously weirdly
evil yet efficient
how could you be
you can`t see
what i see
so shut up
before you get the wrong idea
how i work and roll
i`m just getting to my goal
i know how it works
cuz i`m the one who puts the twirk
not you not him nor her
don`t make nussy excuses
don`t make excusation
i`m in it for the thrill
for the fun
for the love
for the hearts will
how could you ever know
how could you ever understand
cuz the feeling ain`t with you
cuz the feeling is with me
and that is why you`ll never know
and one more thing
and yes i`ll never believe you.
cuz you can know and feel if the feeling is there but its not
so what`s the point what`s the fact ?
were u trying to prove ur act?
hehe...i was just ryhming...bored laa today...

MAFYDxD

ya`ll gotta learn:D...seriously..haha

thanks ya gangtsta!

my housemate went back to JB and borrowed me his camera..i feel so damn lucky!wan!ur so nice in a way:)...just like how yan said:D

how would you know?

heartless was a song.was just a parable of how the situation is.don`t get me wrongly.its a tottaly different thing from the song.okay?so yaa.live a happy life for you know how i`m able to cope.no.i don`t believe it:]

tuesday yesterday was the worst

i left the phone there cuz i wanted to take the keys for u guys.and u took my phone and gave it back 5 hours later...omg.....i felt like hell for that 5 hours u know?and u guys made a laugh about it.haih.............i would really wanna see how you guys would`ve acted if i did that to u.u guys wanna tell me to text less.tell meproperly.not by secretly taking my phone on the fucking shoe rack because i wanted to opened the fucking door for u guys.i respect and love you guys but that was kinda mean.my phone is my life.get the facts into ur head.i can`t survive without my phne.so please.dun ever pull that type of stunt ever again.seriously.i blocked my sim becaus ei lost my phone and u guys laughed.my god................arrgghh!!!!!!!!!!!pissed off but i don`t wanna scold you guys since you guys gonna scold me back later on if i do sumting wrong and i always do.and hey!i`m a fat ass!i`m a dickface!i`m a pimp!i`m stupid and i don`t what to do so i ask alot.anymore additions to it?i`m annoying?what else?i talk a lot?i`mtoo goofy for ya`ll?too childish?anymore to rain on my parade?make my day grey?anymore ways of doing so?do laa..dosome more until u all satisfied.i know you guys just joking.i also joke around a lot.but u don`t see me joking calling people dickface.u don`t see me taking ur phones.even if i did.i`d give it back 5 minutes later.wana show me i`m an asshole fucktard?yaa!go on and showme.prove that i am one.argghh....okay..now i feela little better...huh..thanks for reading:)

you break me:/

i say it gracefully

let my guard down

you hurt me like a cut at the heart

closer you took me to you

you gave me the feeling

of dozens emotions

maybe i`m wrong

misinpreted as love

wrongly was i

but my heart 

adores you deeply

too much really

always adoring

you break me

always breaking me

you break me

just by knowing

you light my soul

you darken my soul

you break me 

again and again

just by knowing.

you knock me down

and you knock me somemore

you break me

you break me

just by knowing

raining on my parade

likes to rain on my parade don`t cha?you`ll soon see:)

Wolverine origins

we went to see that movie last nite thanks to my friend pak.he gave me 3 entrance ticket to see the show....1 ticket equals to 2.so i got 6:D...i brought 5 of my friends and we all watched the movies....than we went for shisha at a place nearby:P...hehe....yaa..and on the way home..we found a stray cat that follows me back to my apartment:P..well..yaa..and then..umm..the thing is....i`m miserable...being miserable..........phillly ain`t near...:/................................................then i heard knock me down:P...i was like...pergghhhhh...terbaek..adduuuuhai...wanna cry that time..i know..congek and so dramatic..but i don`t care laa..my personal life has nothng to do with yours.man..i miss her.

Went to midvalley today toaccompany hafis:)!

we arrived at the ktm at around 7.35.we went and withdraw some money first.then we entered the train and went to midvalley.arrived around 9.26?lol..ktm is damn slow......but the trip wasnt that boring..cuz like..i kinda used afiq`s mp3 wihthout his knowing??haha..sorry fiq but thanks for borrowing me the mp3:D.....when we arrived tomidvaley.we went on a search:D.we went on a search for hafis`s sister:D...hehe.when wefound her.we went and ate at secret recipexD!!!hehe..damn nice the chicken!i like.hehe.and then..what we do.we talk and ate.then we went back and again.ktm was so damn slow.pissed with ktm.espcially ariz.he was like chow cibai.cibai.cibai.haha..i kinda like the tense moment.haha..he was also kinda having a fever though..that`s why..huhu...but all and all..we had a very fun day:D..:D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ABAH!:DD!LOVE YOU SO MUCH!

its daddy`s birthday today:)!hehe..abah!i just wanna tell you i really really love you!like seriously love you!!!eventhough u scold me like dozens of time a day!i still love you!but seriously dad..u need anger management..but still i love you!i love you just the way you are!!!kedekut for the future:)!strict with religious matters and always being cool whenit comes to serious matter.haha..dad..i miss you abah dolok terer men bola and all that stuff.i seriously do!and daddy!when i come back.i will give u a present..maybe not as expensive as the gifts you`ve gave me but i will give u in 10 years time.or 5 or 6.iwanna be rich and much more sucessful then you were.that`s yourgoalryte?your kids to be so much better than you are and you as our hero!and dad.believe me..u are my hero:)!!!!!!!!you`re tough! you`re good looking!i love that luke skywalker look during ur twenties:)!its hawt!if u were in ur teen years now.i`m sure a lot of chicks would be like after you dad:D!!!!!me and fareez are also what we are because of what you taught us to become the man that we are today.haha.dad..i`msorry for smoking but abah!u were alsoa smoker and u stopped after you got married and maybe i`llstop at the age of 50:P.haha...i`m not like you 100% ya know?hehe..and dad!both your sons have your charm and anger management and that patient..haha..but fareez..i dunno laa..haha..love you dad!please stay with me until i get child and my child gets a child!i wanna spend more time with you dad!

ps dad..i wanna have a father son ciggerette moment.u me n farez..i dunno if farez is smoking or not but after form 5 i`ll sure ly teach him to smoke:)!hahaha..love you dad!HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MR MACHO:P.haha

eyy!

you can tell your boyfriend that i`m a vegetarian and i ain`t fuckin afraid of him

i `m hot his not

his skiny shit i`m filled with happy bits

you know the truth and yet you deny it

just tellhim your leavin

never to come back again

you know i can do it better

there`s no conclusion to what you can do when u bring in forever

what does he have?

sings like a pussy 

and i sing like jesse mcartney

i`m happy go lucky

him macho a milli

more like aku macho tapi tak jadi

i rap but does he?

i smile i shine i`m just filled with style

110% guarenteed

satisfaction to max

i`m not bullshitting 

but i`m telling u the facts

if its a matter of love

i`m gazillion and above

i crawl like spiderman

i fly like superman

i drive like batman

now whatcha gonna say?

owh gosh its peter pan?

no!!!!you say yes and say you`ll be happy in my arms forever

and we`ll get down down down down

just big weird smiles,no empty shit frownsxD!!!!!!!!

hmm..feeling uneasy and amazingly happy

i don`t know if this uneasy feeling is a feeling that i should concern about or sumthing that i should just let it pass.i don`t know.but yaa..my gurlfren today`s not using her phone.like damn.arrgghh....btw...philly was kinda sad again today.but i don`t know if what i did cheered her up.i cursed her and made sarcastic jokes.i`m trying to be a sacrcastic asshole to her in a way cheering her up?haha..idunnno..william is a sarcastic asshole.and ya,by being one.he cheersmeup all the time.that`s why i love having him around the apartment..ohya..hafis sleptover..and his still asleep at my bed...snoring.haha..hafis is a funny and a very nice guy.he practically likes to do stuff so randomly..just like li wen.his like suddenly laughing and shouting or sudenly stood up and dance..lol..haha..well..i guess thisuneasy feeling will have to wait...hmm....oh ya...i just found out bout sumthing too..and that`s the reason i am very very very happy!