ohya ohya ohya!FUCK YOU!FUCK YOU A MILLION TIMES FUCK YOU!

i just wanna say fuck you.I hate you.i so fucking hate you right now.SO what?you think your tough now?i oughta smack you in the head you little wimp ass mother fucker.i fucking fucking hate you!seriously .you need to understand:D.i fucking hate you.fuck fuck fuck.

F U C K YOU

FUCK YOUR CAT

FUCK YOUR HAIR

FUCK YOUR FACE

AND FUCK TO EVERYTHING THERE IS ABOUT YOU

FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU:DD

yaa...so like..i hate you.i don`t know why...i just do!so ya..please..i freaking hate you

your a freaking loser and you know it.acting like you are one but your not.

just fuck u!

seriously fuck you!

Lol.shit does happens:D

I called mia today and i feel somuch betterxD.cuz like i don`t have to think about her anyore..she`s a complete waste of time.she said she`s changed.but seems to me there`s no change at all:DD.haha..but its okay mia.i understand a young lady such as yourself.who tells evrybody about a thing and yet you don`t do a shit about what you said.its just seriously full of crap syg:).

shit happens ya know

i`m Fadhlee,i`m 18 going on 19,i`m born in miri on the 13th of november 1990 in the clinic shell of Lutong.I`ve lived my whole life here in Miri and now i`m currently staying in Sunway city in next to or in Subang.I`m different.I`m not weird,i`mjust unique,I do things differently compared to other people.i have loads of friends but i keep losing them over little things due to misunderstanding.I`ve been doing so for quite a time now and i tend to try and stop.Being honest is apart of me that sometimes can bring good and bad to both sides or situation.I`m loud and humble due to certain situations.One of my friend says i look helpless and makes other people want tolend a hand.I know it sounds pathethic but i guess its true but as how most of the people in the world would say,don`t judge a book by its cover.i`m capable of doing loads of things.Things that people don`t ussualy do or they might not even do.I have the courage and confidence but sometimes my physical appearance turns em down.a lot.but thank god since i move to Sunway.i`ve lost a lot of amount of weight due to no rice diet and well i just decided not to eat.but i`m still a fat ass and i admit it.I`m shy to some stuff and i`m sensitive.I sometimes take jokes seriously and its just a thing that i can`t avoid.I have troubles with my lovelife.I get confused a lot.and i tend to make wrong decisions all the time.Loving someone who doesn even gives a shit about you is stupid so please to anybody who`s read this,forget bout those who don`t give a shit about you while to you there like your sun,there like your moon and they`re like the stars that fills up your dark skies in the night.No matter how hard you try,it just won`t work.you`ll just end up getting yourself hurt more.It happened tome loads of time.i can`t regret for ever being in love with them cuz being over my head over them feels great and well,like they say,greater love greater pain.adn i got hurt in the process.They on the hand couldn`t care less if i still love them or not.so yaa just try and get over someone who doesn really care bout you and get your "love spirit" high again and start all over again.it`ll be worth it:DD.trust mexDD!
i have loads of adq angkat.but it seems most of them seemed to forgot me.but its okay.Its just abg angkat.but then again.those who were still with me.i`m happy that they are.i love all of you so much and you know it.and to those who seemed to only came to me when your drowning in problems you can just go home and kiss your mom cuz coming to me only during your harsh time is mean.i`m not a place for you to cry on.i`m your brother for god`s sake.look it up.So yaa..i`ve been bored and i`ve been stressed lately so i wrote this long thing..i don`t know who ekse to go to.just this thing for me to write on.so yaa:DD..


today..mia contacted me and explained everything to me.and i meant everything.in a way.i don`t believe her but i a part in myself wanted to believe her and i don`t know why.Were still together as she said it but still.by the time your reading this.she might be still mine or we both might broke up.she was pissed but by what rights?i also have the rights for being angry cuz she didn`t even contacted me and explained to me at all.i know she`s busy but she could at least tell me.i`m still her "boyfriend" right?yaa..she told me mr mambo tango was only a mere imagination and fake.i used to thought it was the kairool guy in friendster and facebook since she`s been contacting that guy and one more thing.she could at least told her kuching buddies about me but no.she only told her girls in cboo.why?maybe she wants to hide me from her kuching buddies but i don`t know.this are just thoughts that run in my mind.I thought i`ve lost her for so long now.and now she`s sudenly back in my arms again but it just doesn feel right.plus.this evening.i had a pissed aura from zul and i kinda told philly that i`d stay away from her to avoid pain encountered to myself for loving her.just now.just after i called mia.i called phillly cuz she`s the only one i could actually talk to.i know its stupid but i had no choice.plus.i had no ciggerettes at all.so i called her and talked to her.she calmed me down in a way and philly,i think i understand you.but not completely i think.Your still a big blurr in my head.just like mia.yaa..i have unbalanced feelings for you and mia.And mia.i`m telling this cuz i wanna be clear.its been so long since i called you.i still love you.but philly was the only one there for me when i needed someone and i had loads of fun with her.she`s pretty and she`s cute just like you.but she doesn love me like the way you said you did.i`m really confused mia.for the love of god.if you really did loved me.you`d understand me.but if you still did.i`d pretend you`d did okay?:P.
and philly.i`d continue to avoid you.i don`t wanna fall for you ever again but i did .and this time.i`d make sure i`d be my last time.you knew it right?why pretend.you saw my coment at zul`s page.i know thing`s philly.things tend to open up to me eventhough people keep hiding em.i know there`s a saying where it says somethings are better left not knowing the truth cuz we`ll just get hurt if we knew the truth.but getting the pain at that specific time that you knew is a good thing.so we wouldn`t get hurt later on.so yaa philly.i love you adq:).as a brother.i think i`d never be tired of saying so.

and mia.please baby.i love you,you always a special spot in my heart no matter during my so inlove times with philly.i love you i love you!
and yes.fieyra was my adq angkat but only as my adq angkat.i know you,and i`m rea;;y afraid of you`d hurting me in the end cuz of what i did.you must think about what you`ve done to make me think of what i did thing.our relationship dead.i`m so evermuch sorry mia.i love you so much baby.please forgive me.

26th:D

today was a very nice day:DD.eveything was exciting eventhough things didn`t go to plan.The original plan was too get together with both my little sisters.but then turns out the other one went for fcking bowling and the other one came a little late.well not really little.much much late but still:DD..hehe.yaa.okay..I`ve never saw philly before all my life.never.before.i used to thought she was around my height.turns out that she was shorter than fareez.tomy suprise.and she thought i was taller.well..lol.okay.then again.i came ther with fareez and adiey but we went on our separate ways.cuz i wanted to go out with my sista`s and he wanted to go out with his classmates.well ya.when i reached there.i was waiting for philly and i was just chilling at the main door and to my suprise i found chal:DD.she said i`ve changed:DD.i`ve gotten slimmer and i have a nice hair^^.hahaha.yay baby yay:D!haha.but chill fadh..chill.not yet..haha.yaa.then i waited and waited and just as i was about to enter the parkson since philly still haven`t arrived.she suddenlycamed and she was in a rush.she said hye and then said sumthings.i couldn`t really remember.i forgot cuz i was too busy looking at her smilling>.<....lol...yaa.haha.so..after tht..she suddenly went mising and when i text her.she didn`t reply.in my mind.i was like.wtf?shit...lol.but then again when i thought about her smile.i was like in my lala land.lol.and yaa..she did reply in the end.but then she told me she couldn`t come.in my head.i was really hoping that me her and fafa could jalan2 and then to our suprise bump into his boyfriend.I`d really wanna see his face.he must be like "this is why i`m hot" since his philly`s bf.but then again.things didn`t really went according to plan.haha.so yaa.i just buy the transformer tickets and watch it alone but before we went in.i brought fareez into the bowling area so he could see philly:).hehe.yaa.and he was like ouh.that`s her.okay.let`s watch transformer.so we went in but separate seats.yaa.during transformer.i sat near to some people that doesn know how to shut up in a movies and keeps talking.i know you got your rights but dude.its transformer.shut your pie hole and watch the fucking movie and stop wiggling your fucking legs.its fucking annoying.ohya!before i continued.i bumped into muamar and even he said i got slimer .>.<..i still think i look fat fat fat..my friends in kl said i`ve no change..lol.accpect ariz.haha.yaa.thanks for that dudexDD.ohya..once i was done watching the movie.philly already went back.i went to marrybrown to grab sumthing to eat.cuz like its been like 6-8 years since i touch there chickenxDD.haha.yaa.so and then i meet up with fafa and then i accompanied her for her mcd:D.and then..yaa.we went on n on in parkson:D.i had loads of fun with her cousins and all:D.they`re all like my little cousinsxDD.yaa.ehe..yaa.and then we went to her aunt`s house tosend mei2 home.yaa.things turned out well.and the thing is.i think i`m in love again and i`m gonna get knocked down again...damn fucked up.i hate that.but in a way.it feels good to be over my head for a girl.

its back

i think it has but i`m not sure..

lost my earing..

fucked up!i lost my damn earing..damn...

25th of june

thailand horror movies are just way fuckedup wey.likeseriously damn fucked up!!!!

its like so scary that you can feel something running in your body and other than that.the disgusting part,i can still handle.but the part where they do the summoning and where they cut off the fucking vagina and then took something from inside made me wanna volmit and like i got a sick gut feeling because of watching what i watched,its like damn freaking disgusting and fucking scary.fucked up scary.even white people have sense of humanity in making horror movies but thailand horror movies are just too much.like seriously too much.i`m fucking scared and fuckin disgusted and i never thought i`d curse as much as i did because of one stupid horror movie that was made by thailandneese people.its like damn damn shitty shitty bang bang.lol..i`mstill watching thefucking movie as i`m writting this.damn.i can`t sleep and i don`t know why.and fuck fuck fuck the fucking bitch just fucking took off the guys fucking toenail`s.fuck that fucking hurt!!!aaaa mcb..damnn....ouh fuck wey this movie..i don`t even know what its called.i just kept on watching it.eventhough something inside me is telling me to stop watching the effin movie but i still keep on watching it and i don`t know why i`mdoing so.i seriously don`t know why i keepon watching it.maybe cuz i can`t sleepand maybe cuz i`m nervous or exited in meeting my adq..don`t know..iserioysly don`t want too cuz i don`t wanna fall for her again but she says i won`t.i don`t know if i will.lol..i think i will.like 80% posbilities of that i will and when i do.i`ll get hurt all over again.hmm..i really don`t want too.ohya..dad..really waiting for him to bank in money for me.:DD.i wanna go out dady_YO.haha..so gimma all the monay,ALL the monay!:DD..xDD

She has a Spare :)

chewah...mok ada spare eyndah..sik cyk aku tok setia siboh..aku tok gemok.muka dak katak.sikda ku gago2 nak curang baa..yah..kdk la aku tok gago glak nak crk grk laen.hmmph..please laa..eventhough you know how to read guys,doesn mean you know me.trust me.i know you more than you know me;).you weren`t as good as you said you were you know?:).my brother has more advantages than you do.he does and you know it.were in two different worlds deng.think properly berfore you do things..u got spare.hwo do you think that makes me feel huh?angry.pissed.dissapointed....my god...you guys really don`t get the idea huh?hmm..credit low because i couldn`t care less about texting people.irarely text my friends and my adq`s.doesn mean i rarely text you .you go around finding spare.lol.fine..just do whatever you want laa okay?after writting this..i`m so asking for a break up okay?i`ve done nothing wrong to you and this is what you pay in return.

"go on girl,i`ll be fine".

Everythings seems okay

yaa..i woke up at 2.30 today and i straightly went to my laptob but to my suprise.elysha was there playing my laptob.*tuija* anak ya:p.hehe..but then she cried and ran to my mom cuz i told her if she wanted to play my laptob she`d better stop screaming.she was just creaming also cuz my brother fareez gago juak mok maen laptob.lol:P..haha..ya..so i just went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth and checked out what mom has prepared for lunch.imisssed lunch cuz i was sleeping..haha..yaa..after eating.then went online but only for a short while.so and then i smoked my skl and then i took a bath and here i am writing this blog.ohya.my adq bubbled me the halo song.hehe.like hafis said.girls always does things that misinteprete us.hehe.but its okay.i think i`m over it so let`s keep it that way:)

Hello beautiful

This song means a lot to someone.and that day that i called that someone was the day that mia send me a coment saying she misses me badly and she doesn know how much pain i felt of what she did to me and she still has the nerves to even say she misses me.*sigh*.i don`t know why in the hell would she do that.eventhough i`ve litterally forgotten about her.but i still think about her time to time.now that when she`s sent me that coment saying she misses me badly makes me think about her 24-7 again..i keep looking at her photos and keep asking myself.what should i do about it.i honestly say that i`m a little dumb in relationships.i really am.cuz i fall for people that doesn have any feeling for me and even when they accpect me.they don`t have any feelings for me.i seriously don`t know why i do that.but yaa.who cares ryte??:P..so back the hello beautiful thing,after i read the coment.i was kinda sad and i drove around my parent`s car in my neighbourhood to release the anger:p....and i went to ct`s house and picked her up.i jokedaround with her a lot.and i mean a lot..i t did made me happy abit.but i was kinda missing my adq so i decided to call her since she`s always having problem.i just want her to be happy all the time.eventhough i don`t have anymore feelings for her like i did last time.i still love her as an adq so yaa..i was correct and she was feeling down.i tried to cheer her up.at the beginning.it didn`t work.but at the end it did.and she asked if abg can sing for her jiwang2 songs.so i did.but then at the end.she requested for hello beautiful.i wanted to sing to her but that song has meanings and its special.a lot of song can relate to anybody at various stages of life.its just them or us who chooses to keep it to ourselves or expressing it thru online pages like ms and fs.but sometimes.keeping things to urself isn`t that bad.trust me.i`ve tried it.so yaa..i said i`ll call her tomorrow and sing it to her tomorrow.and then we said goodbye and goodnyte and she said i love you abg:DD.i was very happy that tyme cuz its been so long since i heard that.so yaa.i think i`m gonna try and call her tonight and sing the song to her tonight.i listened to the song all day today.and i`m gonna give it all and try to sing it to her.and by any means.i`m singing it to her as in how i used to love her feeling:P.hehe..yaa..doesn mean i don`t love her as much as i use to last time.i can`t sing to her ryte?but..the song`s meaning when sang to another person later on won`t be the same agian because the song was sang to her.she`s my philly to my pino.i`ll always love her.and i`ll always be beside her no matter what.i still have a little hope in my heart but this is me were talking about.i`m gonna push it aside and try to be the best brother a man can be.haha.well yaa.that`s is..tata




my loveble adq:)..i love you so much adq.

An old friend said i was annoying

A friend of mine said i was annoying and it really did hit me on the spot.i was so knocked out that i litterally nearly cried:P..but i didn`t.i have to be strong.I have to be one with myself and hold on to my words.I can stand by my own and i will prove it to everybody.but still,i still need friends:P..haha..but now i learned that i cn`t trust friends a 100% cuz they`ll do anything at the right time behind your back just oto cover up their own.i`ll do my best i hope.well yaa..

Being back in miri

I came back to my home sweet home on friday.my flight was on 8.30 am..so yaa..had to woke up early to go to the airport.Originnaly..aqil was suppose to send me home.but my aunt suddenly called and asked if she can send me to the airport.since i have little amount of money left.i had to accpect if not,i`d be down straight broke when i reach miri.but even when i did.i was already broke.so i couldn`d care less..so yeah..my aunt asked his husband Anjang Mat to pick me up.he reached suriamas approximately around 9.30.during that time i was to busy onlining.checking out people`s myspace and friendster.then he called,"fadh,turun bawah,uncle dh kt dpan tmptyg uncle selalu ambil fadh.okay uncle"...like always..i was in a rush too take all my things and then i manged to get there fast.but...but....when i reached my aunt`s house..i found out that i forgot to bring my ticket...i was like omg..my ticket..how am i gonna go back to miri without my ticket ryte?then i calmed down and with my muka tebal..i asked my uncle..uncle..bleh tak tlg print ticket sy..sbb sy lupe ticket tdi...he was like.okay.i know he was really2 tired so i did felt kinda guilty but i had to.if i didn`t i wouldn`t be going back to my sweet home..so yeah..we managed to print but we had problems trying to print the damn ticket cuz of the printer and the internet was damn slow..so ya.we printed it.i lye down at the bed that was already set for me by my aunty.and when i did.i thought i was gonna sleep.but then.i couldn`t.i was like damn..so i thought to myself..let`s not sleep..incase i can`t wake up for tomorrow.5 oclock is early and i slept like 3.30....lol...but i feel asleep at 3.30..haha...watching koreans movie..i think i have a addiction to watch korean movies or tv shows..they`re interesting and the best thing about it is the chicks in it.its like when u firstly watch em right.the chikcs or "heroin" aren`t that hot.but after half hour of watching the damn thing..you`d find that chick is so so hot..yaa..its like that..but back to the story..my aunt woke meup but i feel asleepagain and then for the second time.i woke up nd straightly took the towel that i used as a blanket:P....haha..yaa..i took it and took my bath..it was effin cold..but i couldn`t do anything..since i was only a guess:p..i took my bath fast and rushed downstairs.when i reached downstairs,my aunt has prepared for me bread and a hot cup of milo.i was suprised and i was touch that she made breakfast:D.hehe.i ate up all my breakfast and went to the car with my uncle and he sent me to the airport.the first thing that came to my mind when i reach there was.CIGGS!haha..i waited for my uncle to went away and i smoked.i finished my ciggs.i took my baggage inside and started lining up for my theboarding pass.when i did.i was kinda lost to find the local departure.to my suprise.it was only at the left side.i was like..how can i nt see tht.when i did.i went thru the metal detector thing and went straight to my A6 room.there i opened my lappy and started onlining for awhile.i chatted with some friends from myspace for awhile and the i was kinda suprised that my philly removed me from her featured friends.haha.a little down but i thought to myself.if your gonna forget her.go all the way.like what hafis said."hati kene kering"...yaa..so i just *sigh* and did a litle blah gah thing by myself.in the a6 room i felt a little like home cuz people were talking in sarawak language.and i was smilling by myself.they were a couple of chineese looking at me.but i didn`t care cuz i`m about to reach home!why would i care?!:p.so when the time camed.i just switched off my lappy and went straight into my aeroplane and slept.but when they started serving lunch.i woke straight away.the aroma was just unbelieveble:P..haha.so yaa..after eating..i continued my sleep and when i woke up.i was already in miri:)...my home sweet home.the first thing that came to my mind that day was my baby sister ellysha.i miss her so much and yaa she misses me too suprisingly:DD.haha..well now that i`m in miri.i`ve been spending a lot of time with her and she kisses me now:).last time she doesn.haha..yaa..well..that`s all about my miri comeback:D!!i love miri and proud to be a mirian:DD

went out around 2.30

things were quite tense last night.damn..i`ll update this story later..seriously catching up with time.

Feeling good:)

thinking back.a few days later i was feeling bad and down..now..:).i feel happy being on my own.i don`t need anybody and by doing so had made me very happy:)!thank you god:DD!i thank you so much for giving me this feeling and you`ve ease the pains that i encountered and i got my waniey back:)!

welcome to my life GUYS:)

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

MY O H A N A

MY OHANA:DD!!!I LOVE THEM:DD

O H A N A:DD

some of my family members went to kl today and i went out with them:DD.they kinda cheered me up in way.hee...i felt happy again seeing them.the thrill and happyness they gave me by smilling:D.i feel appreciated.i don`t feel that anymore with my friends:(..but ya..seeing my them today.and ryan syahmi:DD..he was cute!he has that noh hair.hehe.he was talkative.he talked non stop and finished my sony ericson phone battery:PP.haha..but i didn`t mind.i didn`t even text my gf today and tonight as i`m writting this.she asked for a breakup cuz i don`t have time for her:P.i do have time.i just don`t bother to.haha.but its okay.eventhough i feel a little down.since i was beginning to grow feelings for her.:PP...but its okay.like william said.get a gurlfren here fadh.the one you can actually see.or touch.and bro..i feel you.haha..

and mia....hee..i think i`m getting over her little by litle.i just kept thinking of philly to get her of my mind..i called philly today,well just now but she was at the funfair with her friends:DD.hee..so yaa.i hope she had fun.she`s under a lot of stress lately.so its kinda good for her to go out at night with bright colourfull lights.Funfair was just right for her:)!i love you philly:).you know i do:DD

i`m currently listening to better in time.ughh.i sound so gay in a way.haha.but its okay.i`ve decided to live my life and spendmy money well.i don`t need anybody but myself.that`s what i learned staying at a place like this.i might need friends.but i won`t give a 100% trust anymore.and what people seem to say that looked like from the bottom of the heart isn`t from the bottom of the heart.they just wans us to see them as they`re nice or whatever.my God...humans..:P...but i`mone of em too.my childishness has lessened a lot thanks to them.i justjoke around those i somehow feel comfortable with.Amirul,neil,po.i somehow still feel comfortable with theese people.but if they were with those guys who were so called friends that was talking behind my back.wellthen.i`ll stick to all i need is my self:)!ciggs?i can buy:D.enjoyment?:Di can enjoy a day at the mall bymyself thank you:D.i just need my phone,music,cash:)...and guys.you guys can laugh about my adictionswith phones.i don`t mind.you`ll understand IF you were in my shoes.but you`re not.so ya.

ohya!i wanna try and get my car license so my dad would by me my own car.and by having my own car here,i can seriously stick to the all i need is myself point:)!

go fadh!you can do it:D!!ohya..studying.istill need them.haha.they`re nice people.they just talk behind my back..i don`t like that:).hee..well..tata for now:DD

went out with the guys

today.me and my buddies went out cu i got free tickets to watch the monter vs aliens.haha..yaa..free:DD..but the thing is..some interesting topic came up like the FRIENDS topic..i just stayed quiet.friends don`t talk behind their friendsback..the only guy i trust around here i yan and william..somehow.i cn trust haniff..but i don`t know laa.i don`t really know who actually talkbehind my back but my sense tells me that some ofthe guys i takeasfamily did and yaa..the guy i callmy brother did that..:/

friends?

nahh....let`s not talk about the word friends...hard to trust friends this days.peopleyou consider family like also would talk behind your back..unbelievable:(

Pissed and moody

i went out with the guys today but i somehow still feel outcasted.i don`t know why.maybe its just me or the other thing about what my so called "brother" told my friend about me.hmm.i seriously feel outcasted somehow.ariz,yan,william and hafiz is the guys that cheers me up somehow or in a way.today..after class..haniff asked me about what`s wrong with me.i don`t think i can tell him since his outcasting me because of what my "brother" said about me.My "brother" himself is outcasting me.how can i feel safe or feel like i have a family in taylor`s.having hafiz and yan makes me feel welcomed and somehow i can feel that dude your a buddy!or dude your a bro!and so yaa..today..when we were going to yowfattt sumthing.we were kinda listening to the radio and the welcome to my life song was played on the hitz.fm.i just sat and stared outside the window.how my "brother" has been treating me so cold.i seriously don`t know why his doing this to me.according to the stories that he told ariz.he said that i always asked for topups.that statement have 2 meanings.its either his pissed because i asked him to help me buy topups like 3 times.but i paid him back or his telling them i`ve been asking for topups and i didn`t pay him.my god.i paid all three times.and if his pissed about chia`ing me all the time.i can pay him back.most of the time he chia me it was him.he insisted on me saying no nid to pay laa fadh.5 ringit is small amount only.chill laa.there`s two things in life i don`t really care sharing.
1.ciggs
2.food and beverages

this stuff in life.i dn`t mind chia`ing my friend.

but by the way he treating me now.and i mean like if this is the case.i can pay him back.i`m not poor.i might have problems with money but the thing is.my parents seriously don`t wanna bank in the 800 ringit into the bank straight.they like to bank in like 150 or 200 perweek.depending on my buddget and the money i have in my wallet.but yaa.i just wish my parents just give me that amount of money since the beginning so i can like plan my money.but giving me little by little somehow destroys my social life.in a way.last time.i can buy dunhill.why?because my parents bank in 450 straight.and now.my parents just like to bank in bit by bit.its kinda annoying but i don`t bother teling them because i know they`ll say.

"cannot,later you overspend"...last time only give me like 500 permonth wey and i can survive.you guys give me this much amount of money i cn survive.by the way you guys give me money now.i`m overspending and i don`t know why.ciggs?no..food?yes..but i eat less.lol..=.=....i don`t how my money somehow keep dissepearing from my wallet.

ohya..today.haniff was like daring me to not curse for a whole day since 2.30 something?and yaa..i managed to hold my self from cursing.and i do feel kinda good in a way.but i`m still moody and i don`t know why.:(....maybe i need to pray.i need to get the cheery assertive fadhlee back to get my studies straight so i can score and i don`t end up repeating my term 2.term 2 was hard enough.i don`t wanna repeat like bull and my abg long akil..lol...calling him abg long in this blog sounds kinda weird because i call him akil but i call his gf kak long since his gf is my neighbour and well i`ve known kak long since i was like a little kid.so yaa..in a way i don`t really feel alone but having her has no difference really.i`m looking for a buddy that i can really talk to and let my feelings out.the only person who i can do that with is my little sister yasmeen.eventhough somehow she`s annoying and she doesn really gives me solution but talking on the phone with her makes me feel okay a bit.and all those cursing with her seems fun:DD.

my girlfriend deana today was like texting me.i was kinda lazy to text her so i told her i got class till 6.and when i got home i told her text her later.then she called me when i was on the way to yowfatt something.she was really missing me:/..i`m mean:((.so i text her laa..she is kinda sweet:)..by,syg`s sorry if you`ve read this but i`m too lazy after class to text.i`ve told you that.i just didn`t tell you what really happened because i don`t want you too feel awkward by me.syg`s really sorry ya?i`ll try my best to text you and all those stuff.you`re really nice and i wanna be the only one for you since you love me and you said that eventhough i`m chubby and ugly:((..=.=...thanks so much by:).you were the 2nd girl all my life to ever love me bcause of who i am and how i treat people.thanks so ever much prince deana:DD.i love you bie:DD

This girl took my heart and it seems that she takes it litterally

i really did love this girl.i tried moving on with her and gave my whole heart to her.and yes.she had someone else and i can`t do anything:(.she has her mambo.i have only myself to blame.i really thought i can love her.but no.i can`t.she tells eveyrbody that she changed.but i don`t see any.maybe the smoking and all that.but smoking i don` mind.but playing with people`s heart.it doesn change.its still the same.she`s stillplaying em around.if she thought i wasn`t serious.she must be blind or sumthing:(.but i really2 do love her:(....haih..

I feel like shedding tears

crying won`t help me or won`t solve my problem:(.i never thought things would end up like this,the only thing good today is i know that i know the basics to accounting and i managed to sort of finish my effin geography test.and then somehow.god showed me a reason why he treats me that way.i`m a forgetful person but seriously if there`s like a debt i owe someone.i won`t forget.how can he tell such stories?:((.he was like a brother to me.i feel so dissapointed.people will tend to lose trust in me because of that.now i know why my parents keep telling me don`t trust your friends 100%.now i know why:((.people won`t learn until they pass thru that phase of life where a friend tell stories that aren`t true about yourself and only after awhile you`ll finnaly know the reason why your friends have been treating you differently.now that i`ve learned.i won`t make the same mistake anymore.but seriously.if they think of me as poor of something.i`ll show em how sarawakian spend:).


tc bro.ily

Dan sebenarnya

oh bulan
enggan melayan diriku lagi
pabila
airmata membasahi pipi
dah lagu lagu di radio
seolah olah memerli aku
pabila
kau bersama yang lain

adakah perasaan benci ini
sebenarnya cinta
yang masih
bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
disebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga
merindui aku

ku enggan
berpura pura ku bahagia
ku enggan
melihat kau bersama si dia
oh ku akui cemburu
mula menular dalam diri
pabila
kau bersama yang lain

pabila kau merenung matanya
ku rebah
jatuh ke bumi
disaat kau benar benar mahu pergi
seperti
ku bernafas dalam air



hope your happy syg:]

my buddies birthday

today ryte....morning....i woke up cuz a budy of mineasking for a towel....soi woke up and told him that the towelwas at the vranda...then somemore..he askwhich one cuz there`s 3 of em..i told em the blue one...the hafiz towel..since hafiz is like my semi housemate..he comes tomy house every weekends...weirdhuh?but very nice to have himaround..healways laugh by himself that causes me to laugh....haha..his childish and blurry in a way..his a malay and somemore talk chineese to yan and william...i always feel left out...-_-


LOL


but its okay..back to the topic...



...
...


it was williams birthday today...haha..he came to my aprtment around 6.20 and ask me and yan if we wantedto join him goto his little party.then we went to carl`s junior:DD..william was like basically.chia us both 10..then we 3 went to 5th floorto get ariz they all.but they went to get yan`s laundry...but ariz they all wasn`t there..just my buddy hafis..sleeping.haha..we woke him up and took him along..then we went there and ate..damn big wey the burger....i`m still full:DD..haha..thanks so much william^^!even though u r one of the most sarcastic bastards i`ve ever met.you`re still considerate,nice in a way,and always explaining stuff to me.thanks birthday boy!after eating.we went to play snooker.but me and hafiz gotkicked out cuz we used slipers..its sostupid you know cuz of that..damn..so about one hour..we were like basically siting in the bowling`s smoking room.haha,..smoke our ass off..then..ariz called hafiz to bring us forshisha:DD..hehe..but b4 that..we went to play arcade.and yaa baybeyh!iscored for intial d..it was nice.and lol...iwasted about 20 ringgit...=_=....lol..i`msupposetosave money somemore..but no....lol...ohya..then we went for shisha that was about 5 minuteswalk or less tothe shisha hang out spot..we walked and wished hanif happy birthday at approximately 12.04:DD..hehe..he had like 3 gurls calling wishing happy birthday:DD..he`s like the ladiesman of DC 32:DD...go haniff.:DD..haha..and now i`m home writing this blog..but i`mquite sad a bit laa..well..umm..dunno what or how to say:((..but its okay laa..she was too good to be true anyways..so yaa..byebye babe...hye babe..lol...doesn make any sense anyway..but who cares...dealing with emotional seasons..bak ckp haniff...emo tyme..:((


wanna cut myself:((

the birthday of two buddies of mine.:DD

Camp was hell>.<

the camp thingy that daniel brought us was like..fucked up..it seriously hurt like helll....my god..plus somemore..i was using a slipper to hike the fucking hill..it was damn slippery...espcially during the waterfall part..i slipped down like 3 times u know?fuck up laa wey..lol..and i`mhaving issues what philly does..but i`m the other way around and they`re freaking confusing me..loll..headche!:/..


ohya..its like 5 of em.damn.....
really fuckedup..haha..but well..thats life..there`s nothing we cn do about it:>...hehe