shit happens ya know

i`m Fadhlee,i`m 18 going on 19,i`m born in miri on the 13th of november 1990 in the clinic shell of Lutong.I`ve lived my whole life here in Miri and now i`m currently staying in Sunway city in next to or in Subang.I`m different.I`m not weird,i`mjust unique,I do things differently compared to other people.i have loads of friends but i keep losing them over little things due to misunderstanding.I`ve been doing so for quite a time now and i tend to try and stop.Being honest is apart of me that sometimes can bring good and bad to both sides or situation.I`m loud and humble due to certain situations.One of my friend says i look helpless and makes other people want tolend a hand.I know it sounds pathethic but i guess its true but as how most of the people in the world would say,don`t judge a book by its cover.i`m capable of doing loads of things.Things that people don`t ussualy do or they might not even do.I have the courage and confidence but sometimes my physical appearance turns em down.a lot.but thank god since i move to Sunway.i`ve lost a lot of amount of weight due to no rice diet and well i just decided not to eat.but i`m still a fat ass and i admit it.I`m shy to some stuff and i`m sensitive.I sometimes take jokes seriously and its just a thing that i can`t avoid.I have troubles with my lovelife.I get confused a lot.and i tend to make wrong decisions all the time.Loving someone who doesn even gives a shit about you is stupid so please to anybody who`s read this,forget bout those who don`t give a shit about you while to you there like your sun,there like your moon and they`re like the stars that fills up your dark skies in the night.No matter how hard you try,it just won`t work.you`ll just end up getting yourself hurt more.It happened tome loads of time.i can`t regret for ever being in love with them cuz being over my head over them feels great and well,like they say,greater love greater pain.adn i got hurt in the process.They on the hand couldn`t care less if i still love them or not.so yaa just try and get over someone who doesn really care bout you and get your "love spirit" high again and start all over again.it`ll be worth it:DD.trust mexDD!
i have loads of adq angkat.but it seems most of them seemed to forgot me.but its okay.Its just abg angkat.but then again.those who were still with me.i`m happy that they are.i love all of you so much and you know it.and to those who seemed to only came to me when your drowning in problems you can just go home and kiss your mom cuz coming to me only during your harsh time is mean.i`m not a place for you to cry on.i`m your brother for god`s sake.look it up.So yaa..i`ve been bored and i`ve been stressed lately so i wrote this long thing..i don`t know who ekse to go to.just this thing for me to write on.so yaa:DD..


today..mia contacted me and explained everything to me.and i meant everything.in a way.i don`t believe her but i a part in myself wanted to believe her and i don`t know why.Were still together as she said it but still.by the time your reading this.she might be still mine or we both might broke up.she was pissed but by what rights?i also have the rights for being angry cuz she didn`t even contacted me and explained to me at all.i know she`s busy but she could at least tell me.i`m still her "boyfriend" right?yaa..she told me mr mambo tango was only a mere imagination and fake.i used to thought it was the kairool guy in friendster and facebook since she`s been contacting that guy and one more thing.she could at least told her kuching buddies about me but no.she only told her girls in cboo.why?maybe she wants to hide me from her kuching buddies but i don`t know.this are just thoughts that run in my mind.I thought i`ve lost her for so long now.and now she`s sudenly back in my arms again but it just doesn feel right.plus.this evening.i had a pissed aura from zul and i kinda told philly that i`d stay away from her to avoid pain encountered to myself for loving her.just now.just after i called mia.i called phillly cuz she`s the only one i could actually talk to.i know its stupid but i had no choice.plus.i had no ciggerettes at all.so i called her and talked to her.she calmed me down in a way and philly,i think i understand you.but not completely i think.Your still a big blurr in my head.just like mia.yaa..i have unbalanced feelings for you and mia.And mia.i`m telling this cuz i wanna be clear.its been so long since i called you.i still love you.but philly was the only one there for me when i needed someone and i had loads of fun with her.she`s pretty and she`s cute just like you.but she doesn love me like the way you said you did.i`m really confused mia.for the love of god.if you really did loved me.you`d understand me.but if you still did.i`d pretend you`d did okay?:P.
and philly.i`d continue to avoid you.i don`t wanna fall for you ever again but i did .and this time.i`d make sure i`d be my last time.you knew it right?why pretend.you saw my coment at zul`s page.i know thing`s philly.things tend to open up to me eventhough people keep hiding em.i know there`s a saying where it says somethings are better left not knowing the truth cuz we`ll just get hurt if we knew the truth.but getting the pain at that specific time that you knew is a good thing.so we wouldn`t get hurt later on.so yaa philly.i love you adq:).as a brother.i think i`d never be tired of saying so.

and mia.please baby.i love you,you always a special spot in my heart no matter during my so inlove times with philly.i love you i love you!
and yes.fieyra was my adq angkat but only as my adq angkat.i know you,and i`m rea;;y afraid of you`d hurting me in the end cuz of what i did.you must think about what you`ve done to make me think of what i did thing.our relationship dead.i`m so evermuch sorry mia.i love you so much baby.please forgive me.