Pissed and moody

i went out with the guys today but i somehow still feel outcasted.i don`t know why.maybe its just me or the other thing about what my so called "brother" told my friend about me.hmm.i seriously feel outcasted somehow.ariz,yan,william and hafiz is the guys that cheers me up somehow or in a way.today..after class..haniff asked me about what`s wrong with me.i don`t think i can tell him since his outcasting me because of what my "brother" said about me.My "brother" himself is outcasting me.how can i feel safe or feel like i have a family in taylor`s.having hafiz and yan makes me feel welcomed and somehow i can feel that dude your a buddy!or dude your a bro!and so yaa..today..when we were going to yowfattt sumthing.we were kinda listening to the radio and the welcome to my life song was played on the hitz.fm.i just sat and stared outside the window.how my "brother" has been treating me so cold.i seriously don`t know why his doing this to me.according to the stories that he told ariz.he said that i always asked for topups.that statement have 2 meanings.its either his pissed because i asked him to help me buy topups like 3 times.but i paid him back or his telling them i`ve been asking for topups and i didn`t pay him.my god.i paid all three times.and if his pissed about chia`ing me all the time.i can pay him back.most of the time he chia me it was him.he insisted on me saying no nid to pay laa fadh.5 ringit is small amount only.chill laa.there`s two things in life i don`t really care sharing.
1.ciggs
2.food and beverages

this stuff in life.i dn`t mind chia`ing my friend.

but by the way he treating me now.and i mean like if this is the case.i can pay him back.i`m not poor.i might have problems with money but the thing is.my parents seriously don`t wanna bank in the 800 ringit into the bank straight.they like to bank in like 150 or 200 perweek.depending on my buddget and the money i have in my wallet.but yaa.i just wish my parents just give me that amount of money since the beginning so i can like plan my money.but giving me little by little somehow destroys my social life.in a way.last time.i can buy dunhill.why?because my parents bank in 450 straight.and now.my parents just like to bank in bit by bit.its kinda annoying but i don`t bother teling them because i know they`ll say.

"cannot,later you overspend"...last time only give me like 500 permonth wey and i can survive.you guys give me this much amount of money i cn survive.by the way you guys give me money now.i`m overspending and i don`t know why.ciggs?no..food?yes..but i eat less.lol..=.=....i don`t how my money somehow keep dissepearing from my wallet.

ohya..today.haniff was like daring me to not curse for a whole day since 2.30 something?and yaa..i managed to hold my self from cursing.and i do feel kinda good in a way.but i`m still moody and i don`t know why.:(....maybe i need to pray.i need to get the cheery assertive fadhlee back to get my studies straight so i can score and i don`t end up repeating my term 2.term 2 was hard enough.i don`t wanna repeat like bull and my abg long akil..lol...calling him abg long in this blog sounds kinda weird because i call him akil but i call his gf kak long since his gf is my neighbour and well i`ve known kak long since i was like a little kid.so yaa..in a way i don`t really feel alone but having her has no difference really.i`m looking for a buddy that i can really talk to and let my feelings out.the only person who i can do that with is my little sister yasmeen.eventhough somehow she`s annoying and she doesn really gives me solution but talking on the phone with her makes me feel okay a bit.and all those cursing with her seems fun:DD.

my girlfriend deana today was like texting me.i was kinda lazy to text her so i told her i got class till 6.and when i got home i told her text her later.then she called me when i was on the way to yowfatt something.she was really missing me:/..i`m mean:((.so i text her laa..she is kinda sweet:)..by,syg`s sorry if you`ve read this but i`m too lazy after class to text.i`ve told you that.i just didn`t tell you what really happened because i don`t want you too feel awkward by me.syg`s really sorry ya?i`ll try my best to text you and all those stuff.you`re really nice and i wanna be the only one for you since you love me and you said that eventhough i`m chubby and ugly:((..=.=...thanks so much by:).you were the 2nd girl all my life to ever love me bcause of who i am and how i treat people.thanks so ever much prince deana:DD.i love you bie:DD